Beer

Rachael has told me not to post this as apparently most people are bored of my ramblings about beer and cricket. But, I figure, if you don't want to read it you don't have to. Personally I think this is just the sort of inciteful, cut and thrust information that everyone wants to know -

How do I order a beer!?

(without looking like an ignorant foreigner)

After travelling through several states I'm just starting to understand how it all works so here goes.

The beer comes in three basic forms , light beer, midway and heavy. Heavy is basically what we class as your normal larger back home, between 4% and 6% alcohol, although it's often referred to as bitter. Light is often just watered down heavy beer coming in at 2.5% and uh... midway is somewhere in the middle. Australia's leading beer (highest selling) is VB (Victoria Bitter) which is a reasonable larger that anyone at all snobbish about their beer turns their nose up at it claiming it tastes awful - pig swill. This is pretty much a lie and being a barman I've had the perfect opportunity to establish the fact. Preying on the clienteles ignorance I have often sold on VB in substitute to supposed experts, they never complain! Anway, you will here this about most of Australia's local beers with it varying depending on what state you are in. As a connoiseur myself I'd say most of them are alright although Boags Premium from Tassie is the best lager.

Anyway, down to the nuts and bolts. In Queensland a half is a 'Pot' and in some places a 'Ten Ounce', most pubs don't sell pints but instead sell 'Schooners' (2/3 of a pint, 420ml). If you go to an Irish pub they only sell halfs and pints. In Northern Territory a 'Pot' is a 'Handle' you still get 'Schooners' but you also get 'Sevens' (7 ounce) which are slightly smaller than a half. New South Wales isn't too different except a 'Pot' is a 'Middy' and they sell 'Ponys' which is a quarter of a pint. In Tasmania they have have 'Tens' (10 ounce) which is a half, 'Eights', 'Sixes' and 'Small Beers' (which is less than a quarter of a pint - madness). Now in South Australia a 'Pint' is the size of 'Schooner' and a 'Schooner' is the size of a 'Pot', they also have a 'Butchers' which is a bit smaller than a half. Victoria is fairly simple with 'Schooners' and 'Pots' but they also have 'Glasses' which are the same size as a 'Butchers' and 'Small Glasses' which are smaller again. In Western Australia, where we haven't been yet, a 'Pot' is a 'Pint' and they have 'Bobbie', 'Pony' and 'Shetland' which all are all smaller than a half and get progressively smaller.

Conclusion : When in doubt just ask for a beer. You will get given the local choice, which will avoid any possible ramifications of choosing a beer frowned upon by the natives (they can get quite patriotic about their chosen brew out in the stix), and they'll sort out the size for you.

On our way out Saturday evening to celebrate Rachael's brithday. Due to my own lack of sleep the night before and the excertions of enjoying ourselves at Dreamworld we only made it to about 9:30pm before calling it a night, age must be catching up.

PS : All comments, derogatory or otherwise, are welcome on my new chin warmer!

Here we are at Dreamworld after having been on 'Wipeout' the ride behind us.

Uh... I think one of those beer was mine!

Me and some fellow idiots at the Gabba watching the cricket.

Long time, no.... er, update

It's been a while since anythings been added but not to worry, we are both still alive and enjoying the incessantly sunny 30 oC days (sorry just had to mention the weather again!). We've been trying to sort out getting on the internet at home with a variety of problems which began with having them having to drag a cable up the road just to connect the phone. In conclusion you don't realise how lucky you all are with BT as the Australian equivalent, Telstra, is as they say in Bolton, absolute bobbins!

Went to watch the final of the VB Cricket series between Australia and Sri Lanka at the GABBA last week. One of the guys who I went with decided we should all dress up and after an uninspired visit to the fancy dress shop we got kitted out in green and gold wigs and a big Islamic style beard (there should be a photo appearing soon). Some guy in the ground asked if this was a political statement about the insemination of Islamic culture into Australia to which I had to reply "no, we just thought it would look stupid!".
We were sat on the front row and apparently we made it onto TV several times and apart from nearly getting thrown out for inciting a Mexican Wave (which is now illegal as it incourages violence apparently) had a brilliant time. I even managed to sell my wig for $20 outside the ground making a clear $10 profit - result!

Oh, and Australia won.... easy.

It was Rachael's birthday last Friday so we went to Dreamworld, which is a Theme Park on the Gold Coast, on the saturday. Due to working the night before and then staying up drinking and talking nonsense with my co-workers I only managed to get 2 hours sleep which kind of dulled the edge of many of the rides as I kept trying to get some sleep whenever I sat down! Please feel free to mock Rach for being old and past it as she is now the grand old age of 27, before you know it she'll be an adult and everything!

I'm still working at the pub around the corner basically because the money is quite good and I'm too lazy to get a proper job. Just remember, I'm a Beer Delivery Technician not a mere Barman.

Been playing indoor soccer every Tuesday and have managed since joining to rocket our team from mid-table mediocrity to the top of the table, what can I say modesty gets you nowhere and I take full responsibilty!

Well that's about all the news I think of right now, should be updating a bit more often now we're t'internet enabled at home.

Take 'er easy, you know I am!


p.s. - If anyone wants Ashes tickets they go on sale at the start of June here, the more the merrier.