Beer

Rachael has told me not to post this as apparently most people are bored of my ramblings about beer and cricket. But, I figure, if you don't want to read it you don't have to. Personally I think this is just the sort of inciteful, cut and thrust information that everyone wants to know -

How do I order a beer!?

(without looking like an ignorant foreigner)

After travelling through several states I'm just starting to understand how it all works so here goes.

The beer comes in three basic forms , light beer, midway and heavy. Heavy is basically what we class as your normal larger back home, between 4% and 6% alcohol, although it's often referred to as bitter. Light is often just watered down heavy beer coming in at 2.5% and uh... midway is somewhere in the middle. Australia's leading beer (highest selling) is VB (Victoria Bitter) which is a reasonable larger that anyone at all snobbish about their beer turns their nose up at it claiming it tastes awful - pig swill. This is pretty much a lie and being a barman I've had the perfect opportunity to establish the fact. Preying on the clienteles ignorance I have often sold on VB in substitute to supposed experts, they never complain! Anway, you will here this about most of Australia's local beers with it varying depending on what state you are in. As a connoiseur myself I'd say most of them are alright although Boags Premium from Tassie is the best lager.

Anyway, down to the nuts and bolts. In Queensland a half is a 'Pot' and in some places a 'Ten Ounce', most pubs don't sell pints but instead sell 'Schooners' (2/3 of a pint, 420ml). If you go to an Irish pub they only sell halfs and pints. In Northern Territory a 'Pot' is a 'Handle' you still get 'Schooners' but you also get 'Sevens' (7 ounce) which are slightly smaller than a half. New South Wales isn't too different except a 'Pot' is a 'Middy' and they sell 'Ponys' which is a quarter of a pint. In Tasmania they have have 'Tens' (10 ounce) which is a half, 'Eights', 'Sixes' and 'Small Beers' (which is less than a quarter of a pint - madness). Now in South Australia a 'Pint' is the size of 'Schooner' and a 'Schooner' is the size of a 'Pot', they also have a 'Butchers' which is a bit smaller than a half. Victoria is fairly simple with 'Schooners' and 'Pots' but they also have 'Glasses' which are the same size as a 'Butchers' and 'Small Glasses' which are smaller again. In Western Australia, where we haven't been yet, a 'Pot' is a 'Pint' and they have 'Bobbie', 'Pony' and 'Shetland' which all are all smaller than a half and get progressively smaller.

Conclusion : When in doubt just ask for a beer. You will get given the local choice, which will avoid any possible ramifications of choosing a beer frowned upon by the natives (they can get quite patriotic about their chosen brew out in the stix), and they'll sort out the size for you.